Category Archives: Parenting

Five Words That Made a Difference

In 1968 I was 14 years old, and living in a suburb outside of Birmingham, Alabama, known as Rocky Ridge. That year five words changed my life.

Books have always been a source of great enjoyment for me and my parents wisely nurtured that interest in many ways. One was to allow me to order just about anything I wanted from the Scholastic Book Club flier that was given to us regularly at school. I ordered books on every subject under the sun and took pride in having the biggest stack of new books every time the teacher distributed our orders in class.

In the eighth grade one of those stacks included a book I ordered only because it had “Birmingham” in the title. It was not until the teacher distributed our books and I began examining my new acquisitions that I found out it was a book about the civil rights movement in Birmingham. In it were pictures of Martin Luther King, Jr., Fred Shuttlesworth, Ralph Abernathy, and others, leading civil rights marches in downtown Birmingham. Also pictured were the dogs, water hoses, and clubs the Birmingham police turned on protesters.

At this point a classmate spoke to me from over my shoulder, “What you want that book about those (n-word) for?” Some other comments followed from my classmate and others nearby that parroted the racism of their parents. I had not learned such attitudes from my parents. While they had isolated me from the turmoil of the civil rights movement and talked little about the issue, they non-the-less modeled loving acceptance of all and had taught me to respect all people equally. I was confused and did not know what to make of the hatred my classmates’ comments conveyed. Sadly though, bowing to the power of peer pressure, I was quickly agreeing and echoing their prejudices.

That evening I showed  the book to my dad and began repeating some that comments of my peers. “Look at this terrible book. It says awful things about Birmingham in it.” Then Dad made his only comment about the book, five words that would stop me dead in my tracks and have a profound impact on me from that moment forward.

“Have you read it yet?”

In that moment I knew that I had just been confronted with the intellectual dishonesty of prejudice. I knew that examining an issue and taking a stand of my own instead of uncritically accepting the judgment of others was a matter of integrity. I also knew that as surely as that was what Dad expected of me, it was what God expected of me as well.

I read the book. I learned about noble men and women making a difference by taking a stand against hatred and injustice. And, by the way, I wrote a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. on the cover of my school notebook for all my classmates to see.

I wonder, “Have I said five words that made a difference lately?” Have you?

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Filed under Birmingham, Books, Civil Rights Movement, Fred Shuttlesworth, God, Integrity, Making a Difference, Martin Luther King Jr, Parenting, Ralph Abernathy, Rocky Ridge

“You need to lead now. You know where we are going.”

This week has been a great mass of emotions all clustered around one significant event. Last Sunday Wesley, my middle child, and I left for Waco, Texas to get him moved and ready to begin his seminary education at the Truett Theological Seminary of Baylor University. Every parent knows the mixture of emotions such an event evokes; sadness, joy, grief, pride, loneliness, and others. All these feelings are a part of the process of letting go of our children as they make their own way into an adult world.

One moment was particularly poignant for me, however, and unique, as Wesley not only goes off to graduate school, but takes an important step in following his calling into the ministry. We left for our long trip with two carloads of Wesley’s worldly possessions. Since Wesley had never driven to Texas, having flown in for his campus visits, I was in the lead with Wesley following behind as we made our way from Madison through Memphis, Little Rock, Texarkana, Dallas, and on to Waco. But I had never been to Baylor’s campus. So as we neared our destination I telephoned Wesley and said, “You need to lead now. You know where we are going.”

Almost immediately I began reflecting on my words not as a practical tactic for taking the right exit off the interstate but as a statement of faith. I believe that God calls new leaders for the church from each generation of believers and enables those leaders to envision new directions as we minister to an ever-changing world. “You need to lead now,” is my blessing that I give to Wesley and all other young men and women that God is calling to be the leaders of the church in a dynamic future. “You know where we are going,” is my pledge to always listen carefully to the ideas of young ministers who understand the future better than I do.

God bless you, Wesley, and God bless all your colleagues. You need to lead now. You know where we are going.

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Filed under Blessing, God, Parenting, Religion, Seminary, The Future